63 Ways to Annoy Darth Vader
by Vaderlicious
Summary: Pretty simple. The title says it all. ONESHOT! Was Fangalicious


63 Ways to Annoy Darth Vader----

1. Call him Ani.

2. Imitate his breathing.

3. Ask him if he ever liked a cute senator from Naboo. If he stays silent or nods, yell "OOOH! Ani has a girlfriend!"

4. Tell him you've taken up podracing as a hobby. Ask him to give you lessons.

5. Ask him if he's ever wanted kids.

6. Walk around, touching everything in your sight while tripping over your own feet every other step. If he asks what you're doing, say "Mesa Jar Jar Binkss!"

7. Call him a girl.

8. Knock on his mask while he's not looking and ask, "is anyone in there?!?"

9. Order Admiral Piett to set course for Naboo.

10. Interrupt Darth Vader when he's in counsel with the Emperor. Once there, apologize and stay in the room until he and the Emperor are finished.

11. Ask him if he is wearing so much black because he is emo.  
12. Ask him why he doesn't have fangirls like Edward Cullen.  
13. Ask him if he likes older men, if he says no, then ask why he's into Palpatine.  
14. Inform him that he shouldn't be wearing a cape because cause the Phantom of the Opera is over.  
15. Ask him if he has asthma  
16. Inform him that "Vader" means father, and he's not a very good one.  
17. Start breathing heavily, and said "No, Luke, I am your mother."  
18. Press the buttons on his chest and ask him why the Playstation isn't working.  
19. Ask him if he's getting it on with Grand Moff Tarkin  
20. Ask him if any of the storm troopers are female.  
21. When he denies it, say "That's not what Luke said."  
22. Ask him why he used to wear a ponytail.  
23. Buy him a little Darth Vader action figure.  
24. Force him to play LEGO Star Wars with you.  
25. Ask him how he eats.  
26. Inform him that Luke likes Obi-Wan Kenobi better than him.  
27. Ask him if he does gymnastics to jump that high and flip.  
28. Ask him he thinks Darth Maul is hot.  
29. Ask him if he thinks the Death Star was a good investment.  
30. Sing the Imperial March as loudly as you can whenever he's around.  
31. Steal his lightsaber and replace it with a hot pink one.  
32. Blame it on Tarkin.  
33. Ask him if he was ever arrested for child abuse.  
34. When he does something really evil, shake your finger and say, "Now, now, Ani, would your mother approve of that?"  
35. Have emotional conversations with him. Bring up Qui-Gon.  
36. Follow him around singing "I Know a Song that gets on Everybody's Nerves."  
37. Ask him how he goes to the bathroom in that suit.  
38. Paint his TIE fighter yellow.  
39. Stare at him. When he asks you what you're doing, say that you can't see how an evil jerk like him could've ever been a Jedi.  
40. Throw mashed potatoes at him.  
41. Whistle in his ear. When he comes after you, hide behind a stormtrooper.  
42. Poke his shoulder.  
43. Call him an "evil creep with a dysfunctional family."  
44. Tell him he looks like a droid.  
45. Sign him up for a quilting class.  
46. Make up words to the Imperial March (Vader's Theme). Sing them whenever he enters a room.  
47. Jab him with a stick.  
48. Talk like Yoda all the time.  
49. Ask him to play Battlefront with you. If he does, make him be the Rebels.  
50. Tell him his mask looks stupid.  
51: Ask him if he's seen Obi-Wan lately.  
52: Stick refrigerator magnets to him.  
53: Follow him around talking about the similiarties between his life and Avatar: the Last Airbender.  
54: Talk about how his life was like Luke's. Say, "It's almost like you're related!"  
55: Tell him that you find his son attractive.  
56: Ask him if he likes twins.  
57: Whenever he gets close to you, pretend that you're being Force-choked. Loudly.  
58: Have a loud conversation with a wall when he's nearby. If he asks you what you're doing, say that you're talking to Qui-Gon and that he's very disappointed.  
59: Call him Dear Old Darthy, especially when you're near someone.  
60: Ask him if he wants to buy some death sticks. Be sure to talk like that guy in the bar in Episode II who tried to sell some to Obi-Wan.  
61: After doing number 55, tell him that you dumped Luke for Jabba the Hutt.  
62: Imitate Jar Jar in the 'Robot Chicken Star Wars Special' constantly. "Ani! Yousa not going to believe this! Mesa all sparkly glowy! Ani Bobani! Whatsa happen to Yousa!"

**And...**  
63. Still be alive after you've done all this (that'll really annoy him.)

Darth Vader walked over to me (Leia Organa Skywalker) and noticed the datapad I posted on the wall.

I sensed he frowned. "Leia, what is that?"

I grinned. "Just a little something to make you annoyed. "

Darth Vader rolled his eyes. "I must admit....it is making progress."

Luke came over to us and glanced at my work. "Is that to irritate Dad?"

I nodded and grinned even wider. "Yup."

Luke studied the words, and then turned to me and gave me a high five. "Awesome!"

Darth Vader rolled his eyes and groaned. "You get your....sense of humor from your mother's side."

He walked off to yell at some commander.

Luke and I grinned at each other for the beauty of success.

"I think it worked...." I said.

Luke smirked and nodded. "Ya think?!"


End file.
